Divergence Drabbles
by Ness Frost
Summary: A series of drabbles that are part of the Divergence arc, but don't really fit into the main story.  I'm updating it to celebrate landmark points in the story; it will eventually include humorous interludes, character development etc.  Cannot stand alone.
1. Sirius's Letter to the Dursleys

100 subscribers!

To understand this chapter you should be familiar with "News and Post" from the main story.

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Dursley,

Due to circumstances outside of my control I will be forced to leave my godson with you for several weeks this summer. It has also come to my attention that your past treatment of him has been less than satisfactory. I have taken a personal interest in Harry's welfare, and as such I have several requirements with respect to his well-being. These are as follows:

While Harry is living with you, you will give him adequate food. You will not lock him into his bedroom, the cupboard under the stairs, or any other room in the house. You will not make him do any chores unless you assign them to your own son as well. You will not allow your son to do him harm. You will not take away his wand or any of his other school supplies, nor will you make any attempt to prevent him from studying magic. From what Harry has told me I cannot expect anything better from you, but you will do these things at the very least, because I will find out if you do not do as I have asked.

During the time he is under your roof Harry will be in regular contact with me. If you mistreat Harry, I will know, and I will come to your front door to rectify the situation. If I do not hear from Harry for three days in a row, I will also come to your front door. If you try to prevent Harry from incriminating you in his letters he will use a code word which is known only to him and myself, and I will come to your front door then as well.

Do not underestimate me, Dursley. I have just spent twelve years in a hell which it is beyond the capabilities of your feeble brains to even imagine, and it was for Harry's sake that I broke out. Know that I am not above committing murder to prevent Harry from suffering any more than he already has, and when one has access to magic there are things far worse than simple killing. You have been warned.

Yours Sincerely,

Sirius Black


	2. Learning to Cook Part I

100 reviews for the main story! I thought I'd have some fun in this chapter, and answer a little question about Sirius. Takes place sometime after "The Best Birthday Ever" in the main story.

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Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter, and I'm not making money off of this. I'm only writing for my own entertainment and, hopefully, others'.

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Near the end of his first week at Alder Cottage, Harry sat at the kitchen table and watched Sirius fixing dinner. For the first few days he had tried to help with meals, but Sirius had always ordered him to sit down, and after several near-accidents Harry had learned that the kitchen was really only big enough for one person anyway. So he contented himself with watching his godfather cook, and tried to ignore the strangeness of not being in the kitchen himself. So far his success had been limited.

Talking made things feel a lot less awkward, though, so tonight Harry decided to voice a question that had been on his mind for quite awhile now. "Hey, Sirius?"

Sirius was standing at the stove, stirring something that bubbled noisily and smelled delicious. When Harry spoke he turned his head but didn't stop stirring. "Yeah, Harry?"

"I was just wondering… where did you learn how to cook?" While Sirius's cooking wasn't as good as Mrs. Weasley's dinners or the feasts at Hogwarts it was a surprisingly close thing, and much better than Harry would have expected from a thirty-something bachelor who had spent the last twelve years in prison.

To Harry's surprise, Sirius chuckled, but didn't give an immediate answer. It wasn't until he had moved the food to the table and started serving it out that he said anything more.

"Your mother."

"Huh?"

"Lily. She's the one who taught me how to cook." Seeing that Harry was looking at him expectantly, Sirius sighed and set down the serving spoon. "I see that this is going to take a bit of telling."

"Well, what else do we have to do?"

"What else, indeed? Okay, I'll tell you if you promise me that the story won't leave this house."

"Wha-?"

"Just promise me, okay?" He lowered his voice in a way that was disturbingly reminiscent of Aunt Petunia when she was afraid the neighbors might overhear something about magic. "Please?"

"Okay, I promise."

"Good." Sirius leaned back in his chair. "All right, then. Once upon a time I was young, carefree, and out on my own for the first time. I hadn't the slightest clue how to take care of myself. Thankfully, I had a best friend whose parents had taken me in and treated me like a second son. They wouldn't hear of me going hungry." Harry couldn't help but smile, thinking of how welcome he'd been the first time he'd visited the Burrow. "So even after I left home, I was always welcome to Sunday lunch. Or dinner. Actually, come to think of it, I took meals there most every other day of the week as well…"

Harry laughed. Sirius smiled in return, though his eyes were tinged with sadness now. "James's mother—your grandmother—tried to teach me some basic cooking techniques, along with simple cleaning spells and a few other things she thought I'd need. I didn't pay attention, of course. I thought I'd be able to turn to the Potters if ever I needed help. In the end they were _my_ parents, too."

"So what happened?" Harry had an idea already; he knew (or liked to think, at least) that if his grandparents were still alive, and if they had loved his parents and Sirius, they would never have left him to languish at the Dursleys'.

"Voldemort murdered them." Sirius's tone was flat, and for a moment the dead, haunted look of Azkaban crept back into his eyes. "It was Pettigrew that sold them out, though we didn't know it at the time, never guessed… I suspected Remus. He knew everything Voldemort would have needed to find them, knew James would inherit a fortune when his parents died and that he would have benefited… then he seemed so unconcerned when we heard the news…" Harry realized that Sirius was trying to justify his actions, to himself as much as Harry, and that he had probably asked himself again and again why he hadn't done anything differently. "I didn't realize that it was because he was in so much pain himself. When all the while it was staring me right in the face…" He looked away for a moment, and closed his eyes.

Harry had no idea what to say. Fortunately after a few minutes Sirius shook himself, and when he looked up again it was with the same expression of amused pleasure that he had been wearing before. It was almost unnerving, how quickly he could push his pain away.

"Where was I? Ah, yes. James and Lily got married shortly after that, and once things settled down I started coming over for lunch and dinner. Rather frequently. And uninvited, I might add.

"Lily was really good about it at first. I don't think she liked me too well then, but I was James's best friend and she put up with me for his sake. She'd always give me this glare across the room when James wasn't looking, though."

Harry was intrigued. He'd never heard of this side of his mother before. "Why didn't she like you?"

"Oh, a lot of reasons," Sirius said vaguely. "I was a real troublemaker at school, you know, and after she was made prefect I did everything I could think of to push her buttons. I think that from fifth year onward I got more detentions from Lily than from all the teachers and other prefects put together."

"So what happened?"

Sirius grinned. "She got pregnant. Inconsiderate oaf that I was, I gave them my congratulations and thought everything would keep going on like normal."

Harry gaped at his godfather. "You mean you kept on coming over and expecting her to feed you?"

"That I did." Sirius nodded sagely. "She still put up with me for awhile, bless her, but in the first few months you made her really sick—" Harry blushed, causing Sirius to bark out a laugh, "—and there came a time when I pushed her just a little too far.

"You see, one morning I came over and Lily looked simply awful. White as a sheet, dark circles under her eyes and all that. James told me later she'd been sick all night and most of the day before, and he'd about worked himself into a panic before things finally quieted down early that morning.

"So here I come bounding in through their front door, whistling at the top of my voice. There's Lily, lying on the couch, completely exhausted and still feeling sick, and James sitting beside her holding her hand even though he looks like he's about to collapse himself. And do you know what I did then?"

Harry could see what was coming. He groaned. "Sirius, you _didn't_."

"I did." Sirius nodded sagely. "Right at that moment I take a look around, and after I assure myself that they're still alive I go straight up to Lily and ask what's for breakfast.

"Well, she'd hardly been able to move up until then, but _that_ roused her. At that moment she was up on her feet and waving her wand all over the place, and before I could blink every pot, pan, spoon, and ladle in the house had flown straight over to me and was beating me over the head. She had some cast iron pans in that house too." Sirius grinned idiotically, as if he could think of no better memory in the world than being beaten half to death by various kitchen implements. Harry resisted the urge to ask if any of the hits he'd taken had done him permanent brain damage.

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**A/N:** This was originally one long chapter, but I decided to break it up into segments - it's not done yet! Sorry if the ending was a bit abrupt.

Yeah, I got the impression that young!Sirius was a bit of an idiot. Ah well, he grew up eventually.


	3. Learning to Cook Part II

So, erm... I'm here?

Yeah, I was so busy during the semester that I barely had time to breathe, and now I've started work. Unfortunately I haven't had the time or energy to work on the main story at all, I still need a beta, and a lot of plot points still aren't completed to my satisfaction.

Ugh... Really, really sorry about this, guys. I never wanted to be one of _those_ authors, but Real Life caught up with me. Will get to work on the main story as soon as I can, but for now here's a little tidbit to let everyone know that I'm not dead.

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"So what did you do after that?"

Harry and Sirius were sitting by the fireplace, having cleaned up after their small dinner. At this time of year the sun was only just setting, and it painted a pleasant red-gold glow over the walls of the house.

"Well, at the time the only relatives who ever invited me over were off on some mission for Dumbledore, Moony was still dirt-poor, and seeing as how I was on Voldemort's most-wanted list and every tavern and inn in the country was swarming with his followers, I couldn't just go out and buy dinner. I tried cooking for myself a couple times, but that didn't work out too well, so needless to say I got pretty hungry by the time that…"

"Wait, wait. They didn't work out? Didn't work out _how?_"

"That's really not important, and besides—"

But now, Harry was intrigued. "What did you do, Sirius?" He could feel himself grinning widely. "I won't tell anyone, I promise."

Sirius let out a low groan. "I've already gotten myself in this deep, so I may as well. You see, when I made my first attempt at cooking…"

_ Well, this was it. He was on his own now._

_ But that was okay. James might have left their ranks for the bonds of matrimony, but Sirius was a man with his priorities straight. He was a proud bachelor, and he didn't need some woman in order to get on in life._

_ He'd show _her_._

_ Sirius slammed the cookbook down on the counter and opened it at random. "Ha," he muttered to himself as he scanned the instructions, "even Peter could do this!" Compared to learning the Animagus transformation, this whole cooking thing would be a piece of cake._

_ Pun intended._

Boil 2 quarts of water in a large saucepan.

_ "_Accio_ pan!" The saucepan flew into his hand. "_Aguamenti!_" With a wave of his wand, the pan flew over to rest on top of the stove, losing at least half of its contents on the way. "_Incendio!_"_

_ Water boiling: check._

Stir in pasta.

_ "_Accio_ pasta!"_

_ Nothing happened. "_Accio_ pasta!" he tried again. "_Accio_ pasta!"_

_ Uh-oh. Sirius had been eating at James's so frequently that he hadn't bought groceries for himself since… since… actually, he couldn't even remember when he'd last bought groceries. At any rate, it was evident that pasta was completely absent from the house._

_ Perhaps the pasta wasn't an essential ingredient?_

_ Sirius decided he'd better just skip that step and go on to the next part of the instructions._

While the pasta is cooking, dice the peppers and onions.

_ Well, _that_ part could certainly go as well. Who needed vegetables, anyway?_

Sauté vegetables in a medium skillet with olive oil and spices until tender.

_ Good; olive oil was one thing he knew he had. Sirius didn't even bother checking to see what spices the recipe called for, but summoned them all and dumped them into the skillet at random. And while he wasn't _precisely_ sure what it meant by sauté, he seemed to recall that it involved pushing stuff around in the pan until it was cooked._

_ He also had the vague feeling that the stuff being pushed around was supposed to be a bit more substantial than a glob of olive oil with various spices floating around in it._

_ Oh, well._

Drain pasta and toss with vegetables. Sprinkle parmesan cheese over and serve.

_ Wait, that was it? Sirius checked the book again, only to confirm that that, indeed, was all there was to the recipe._

_ And he didn't have parmesan cheese, either._

_ "Hmph." He put out the fires on the stove, and picked up the pan with the olive oil in it. At least _that_ smelled reasonably good. He Summoned a spoon._

_ "What kind of cook writes a recipe where you can't even leave out a few ingredients?" he wondered out loud, slurping the oil out of the pan._

_ That was what the problem was, Sirius decided, abandoning the spoon and tilting the pan directly into his mouth. The recipe was too simple. It was way beyond his capabilities. _Anyone_ could make pasta with vegetables; he needed something that was more of a challenge._

_ He also needed to make sure that he had all the ingredients first._

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**A/N:** Oh yeah, since I forgot it up top: HP isn't mine_._ See you all in the next chapter, if I don't get lynched first..._  
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